Spyro Leads an Angry Mob
by Panthergirl
Summary: Spyro, along with every other canon character, forms an angry mob and attacks various styles evil. This becomes increasingly melodramatic as time goes by...
1. In which the Angry Mob is formed

**(As of March 2, 2006, I am taking the entire 'Angry Mob' series and editing them for the usual typos and I'm going combine all three stories into one long story. Why? Because halfway through Angry Mob Three, I realized that I was beating a dead horse. In other words, I was pushing the joke too far. So now, I'm turning the Angry Mob series into one painfully long fanfic. Mistakes will be fixed as well as some of the plot.)**

_Vocabulary words _

**_Seminar_**_- Any meeting for exchanging information and holding discussions. _

**_Alluring_**_- to be attractive or tempting. _

**_Incinerator_**_- a furnace or apparatus for burning trash, garbage, etc., to ashes. _

It was a beautiful sunny day in Sunrise Springs. The birds were being annoying, the sheep were bidding on flameproof vests on E-bay, and the water was...behaving how water should behave. However, there was one thing missing. The land appeared to be vacant. Everyone was in a nearby cave talking about nothing, waiting for the lesson to begin. There were Bianca, Sheila, Sgt. Byrd, Hunter, Bentley, Agent 9, Zoe, Elora, Gnasty Gnorc, Ripto, the sorceress, and about twenty-five random characters from all the other worlds. Spyro stepped up to the podium.

"Attention everyone!" he said. Everyone became quiet. Spyro cleared his throat. "Ahem! We've only go an hour, so let's get started. Welcome to the 'Become an Angry Mob' seminar. Did you all bring your inflatable, life-size Moneybags dummies?" Everyone held his or hers up. "Good! Good!" Spyro exclaimed approvingly. "Go ahead and inflate them, and listen carefully." Spyro and everyone else inflated their dummies.

"The first thing to do is to make a fist. Draw your arm back like so, and punch as hard as you can." Spyro demonstrated and everyone else tried it out. "Good, that's it!" praised Spyro. He tapped on a chalkboard that appeared out of nowhere. He had drawn a picture of Moneybags with five or six Xs on him in different places. "These are the areas on that bear that are the most important to hit. Mark the points on your dummies and practice punching him in all these spots."

After everyone had done that for a while, Spyro called for order. "Pay attention now! Fling your dummy to the ground like this and headbash it in the head and/or stomach area. Those of you who can't headbash, pull out a club from behind your back and proceed to whack it instead."

Everyone did exactly as they were told. Spyro only had to keep Ripto from using the chainsaw once. Then they practiced lighting torches and chanting, learned the proper way of carrying pitchforks, were assigned choice weapons, and were instructed on how to walk or run in a group.

One Hour Later

All the life-size inflatable Moneybags dummies were either burned, deflated, shredded, dust, or all of the above. They simply tossed their dummies in the incinerator to clean up. "Now, do you all know the basics of being an angry mob?" Spyro asked. Everyone nodded. "Good. Now pick up your weapons of torture and follow me. Remember to chant 'get him' nice and loud." He led the way to Midnight Mountain, where Moneybags was trying to scam a few people. The bear heard the alluring sound of people chanting "GET HIM!" and looked up to see an angry mob led by Spyro.

"Um, I see you are all a little tense with my er...um... business tactics." The Angry Mob drew nearer, and Moneybags could tell they had been practicing. "What if I was to offer ten percent off coupons to all of you?" he said as he backed up. "Twenty percent off? Fifty percent off? Sixty percent off? Buy one get one free? YAAAHHHH!" Moneybags turned and ran.

"After him!" yelled Spyro. The Angry Mob chased Moneybags through Midnight Mountain, Evening Lake, and caught up to him in Frozen Altars. "Attack!" The Angry Mob grabbed the bear and proceeded to use their many dangerous weapons of torture on him. Then Hunter, Sheila, and the sorceress threw him off a cliff. A goat walked by, whistling.

Spyro jumped up in a ledge and addressed the crowd. "Congratulations, guys! You passed your first test as an angry mob! Come back tomorrow and get your diplomas."

**Sure, it was cheesy and pretty corny, but was it funny? My main goal here is to make people laugh, especially if said people are having a bad day. **

**Before this gets mentioned, I _do_ know that the sound of an approaching crowd of disgruntled persons is probably not going to be alluring. At the time I edited this, I thought it was funny. **


	2. Moneybags is abused and the duck arrives

_Vocabulary words: _

**_Posh_**_- Smart and fashionable. _

**_Chromosome- _**_any of several threadlike bodies, consisting of chromatin, that carry the genes in a linear order_

**_Psychotically- _**_characterized by or afflicted with psychosis_

It was nighttime in Sunrise Springs. The crickets were singing, the moon was floating around being a moon, and the sheep had won their bid on the flameproof vests and were now standing around the mailbox waiting for them. A lone pear-shaped figure waddled out of a portal.

It was Moneybags!

"That darn Angry Mob!" he said, "I lost two and a half gems when they threw me off that cliff! Now I'm emotionally scarred for life! WhyI'll have to scam three dozen people to get it back!" he walked over to a little river and searched for gems in the water. "I might as well start looking for loose gems and get back to scamming." Moneybags stood up, unable to find any loose gems, and heard music. He turned around.

"Oh! A marching band! I love a good marching band!" He exclaimed gleefully. He stood and watched as the marching band came closer. "Wait a minute" Moneybags scratched his head, "Marching bands don't come to Sunrise Springs...or play in the middle of the night!" The marching band ripped off their uniforms to reveal that they were...

"AAAA! It's the Angry Mob in disguise!" screamed Moneybags. He turned and ran as fast as he could, which wasn't really that fast at all. The mob suddenly produced pitchforks and torches out of nowhere, and he heard Spyro yell:

"Remember! Today's drill is pursue and sack!"

Moneybags got as far as Midday Gardens when the Angry Mob caught up to him, then they trampled him. "YAAAHH!" hollered Moneybags, "They're wearing _cleats_!" After the mob trampled him, he looked sort of like a waffle.

Moneybags got up and ran off, only to get stuck in a tuba. No reason, really. The poor tuba just happened to be in the way. This is a good example of why marching bands, especially false marching bands, should store their instruments properly. Here, the mob grabbed him and loaded him into a cannon. The goat walked by again, whistling.

BOOM!

Moneybags zoomed through the air. The mob went back to Sunrise Springs and grabbed his bag of gems. "Good job class!" praised Spyro. "Now, what do you guys think we could do for a small celebration for a job well done?"

"I'm thinking Vegas!" exclaimed Hunter.

"That sounds good!" Spyro said. He ran off-screen for a moment and came back driving a tour bus. "Grab that bag of gems and get on! We're going on a road trip!" everyone got in the bus and Spyro drove them all to Las Vegas. They spent a week at a posh hotel, sold fake insurance, set loose twelve hundred irritable bees in a casino (The casino wouldn't allow fictional characters.), and routinely threw flaming toupees at bald people. The Angry Mob also received their official Angry Mob licenses!

Later that weekend

The flameproof vests didn't work. The sheep were angry and to keep them from going on strike I had to devote this entire paragraph to the positive promotion of sheep. Sheep are good. Sheep are our friends. We should like sheep. There! Are you happy?! You stupid little fluffy balls of brainless...sorry. I get carried away sometimes.

Anyhoo, after they returned from Nevada, the Angry Mob was sitting around a table playing poker. Bentley had already won the first five games and Agent 9 was going nuts. He eventually had to be sedated with a large mallet. Spyro came in. At about this time, the audience was experiencing feelings of suspense, excitement, and quite possibly indigestion.

"Guys! As far as you know, we are now an official Angry Mob!" he said. Since no one could dispute that, Spyro went on. "We've just got our first mission! We have to save Hunter from a duck!" He looked around for some sign of emotion.

"Spyro!" said Sheila, pushing a limp Agent 9 away from her cards, "How do you know what we're supposed to do in this story?"

"I read the script before I came in here." replied Spyro.

Ripto stood up and shouted "How come _you_ get to see the script? Bribe the author or something!?"

Panthergirl appeared out of nowhere in particular to provide an answer. "No, I accidentally left my copy of the script lying on the ground." She snatched it off the floor "Besides, Spyro actually came to the rehearsals. I never saw you there once!" she said before returning to Reality Land.

Everyone grumbled. "Save Hunter from a _duck?!_" someone complained. "Why can't he just kick the duck over and walk away or something similar?" No one thought to ask how Hunter could possibly need rescuing from a duck when he had been with them the entire time. Nonetheless, everyone grumbled for a while before Spyro calmed them down.

"This duck...is an evil ghost duck." he said.

Everyone gasped. That changed everything! No one wanted to go battle the evil ghost duck. He had 'evil' and 'ghost' right in his name! "C'mon!" said Spyro. No one volunteered. "We'll go to Vegas again!" he offered.

"We were banned from Vegas!" said Bianca, arms crossed, "Because _somebody_ had to go and..."

Agent 9 stood up indignantly. "Hey! If somebody had _told_ me that wasn't a drive-in theater..."

"Be quiet!" yelled Spyro. "What if I let you ride motorcycles?" After a mad dash outside, everyone was seated on a motorcycle. "Ok... Let's go!" said Spyro. They zoomed out of their secret hideout. The goat walked by _again_, whistling.

In the pond beside the portal to glimmer there is an underwater tunnel. That underwater tunnel leads to a secret room. If you are currently stuck on this level, take a look in this tunnel. The Evil Ghost Duck, Moneybags, and Hunter stood at the top of the stairs.

Moneybags was nervous. He had never kidnapped anyone before. He looked out the window. Then he turned to the duck. "Oh, ghostly Duck! What are your intricate evil plans for this week?"

The duck, while sitting on his favorite log, replied "Quack." Moneybags gasped. Hunter looked up.

"What is it? What's he gonna do?!" he gasped.

"I don't know," said Moneybags. "I barely speak Duck. He either said we're going to crown you with a cake, or we're going to drown you in the lake."

Hunter sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he sat up straight in an attempt to appear heroic. "The Angry Mob will save me!" he shouted. "They've thrown you off a cliff before and they can do it again!"

Moneybags laughed. Yes, he laughed as only a twisted, demented, brain-cell deprived individual can laugh. "Ha! They can come up with something much more original than throwing me off a cliff." He went to go look out the window again.

"So why are you working for an evil ghost duck?"

The silence was loud...and silent. Off in the distance, Panthergirl was being chased by a herd of agitated sheep. Moneybags looked nervously at the duck, which was busy laying an egg. Strangely enough, no one realized that it is actually the _female_ duck, not the male, which lays the eggs. Scientists came up with many different theories as to why this male duck was capable of laying eggs, including the possibilities that this duck could very well have an extra X chromosome, or that perhaps it could have descended from a seahorse. Later it was learned that the duck actually _was_ female, but was cross-dressing as a male for political reasons, and the story was able to continue again.

"Because he promised me a whole mess of gems if I kidnapped you. It was that or he was telling me to go away." The duck got tired of the log and went to sit on a nearby beanbag chair.

"Quack." he said sagely. (Because the duck is supposedly pretending to be male, we will be applying masculine pronouns to her...er, _him_...for the time being.)

Suddenly, the sound of motorcycles filled the air. Hunter looked down into the pool, as the Angry Mob came splashing out of the water, removed their scuba gear, and charged up the stairs.

"YAAAHHHH!" yelled Moneybags as he ran to the window and jumped out, making the Angry Mob's job easier. The still-moist Angry Mob quickly untied Hunter and then stopped because the Evil Ghost Duck stood up and said 'quack'.

"YAAAHHH!" screamed the Angry Mob. The duck hurled an egg at them. An egg _bomb_! Not surprisingly, the egg failed to explode and the evil ghost duck realized he had thrown a regular egg and that she..._he_...himself was holding the actual bomb. It exploded on him and all her..._his_ ghost feathers fell off. This little error greatly irritated the duck, and he took flight in the small room, quacking psychotically.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed the Angry Mob as they ran out of the room. They weren't frightened of the duck, as most people thought, they simply had no reason to hang around and wanted to leave in a dramatic fashion. However, they weren't very good at it.

Then the duck hopped up on the windowsill and flew south in order to visit a very well-known complaint department. The Angry Mob saw Moneybags on the way out and ran over him with their new motorcycles. Moneybags was scarred for life and the evil ghost duck eventually found a nice pond and went swimming.


	3. The Angry Mob wins an award

**Two more chapters combined! Gee, I wonder who cares about how this story was edited...**

_Vocabulary words: _

**_Sequin- _**_a small shining disk or spangle used for ornamentation, as on women's clothing and accessories or on theatrical costumes._

**_Deranged- _**_To disturb mentally; make insane._

**_Tact- _**_a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations._

A stage had been set up in Avalar. A committee had arranged many chairs into rows in front of the stage. No, this wasn't an SFA meeting, it was time for the Avalar Random Awards Ceremony! It was nighttime when everyone arrived.

All kinds of characters came from all over the worlds, and limos pulled up with award nominees. They aren't the subject of this story, so we'll move on. The Angry Mob had pulled up on their motorcycles and got to work signing autographs.

The Angry Mob was dressed nicely, the guys in dinner jackets and the girls evening gowns. If you can picture this then you have a very good imagination! Can you imagine the evening gowns as the kind that are glittery with no visible sequins? But not too glittery. Oh, and could you also imagine the dinner jackets have these nice little cuff links that...okay, I'll get on with it. Sorry. The sheep had to be the waiters as punishment for attacking the author. It wasn't a very good punishment, since they got to keep all the tips they made, but it was the best she could do on such short notice.

Let's cut to the chase. The announcer stood up at the stage. "And now ladies and gentlemen!" he said, "We shall begin with the awards! This first, and only, award goes to the Angry Mob for Most Threatening!" The crowd went wild as the Angry Mob stood up and went to accept their award.

"Thank you! Thank you!" said Spyro. "It took a lot of training, and a lot of time beating up Moneybags to become the Angry Mob we are today!"

"Yes, I remember it like it was yesterday, when we were all sitting at the 'Become an Angry Mob' seminar." Hunter said fondly.

"That's because it _was_ yesterday." said Elora. The audience laughed politely.

Hunter ignored her and went on with his speech. "I remember all the fun we had, learning the right way to hold a pitchfork and light a torch. It seems like a blur now that I think about it."

"You hit yourself in the head with a torch and knocked yourself out." said Bianca, Queen of Tact. Again, the audience laughed politely.

"I remember the party we had after our first mission." Hunter said, "We had so much fun."

"Hunter, you ate too much pizza, sang an off-key medley of Cher hits, and passed out in the bathroom." Spyro threw in. The audience politely howled with laughter and rolled about in the aisle. Hunter decided that his speech was over and the Angry Mob went back to their seats.

The announcer stood up. "That was a touching speech, guys. Unfortunately, I'm not actually an announcer!" he pulled off his mask to reveal that he was _really..._a sheep? "Yes, a sheep!" the sheep yelled. The audience just sat there for a moment and then politely ran away screaming. The Angry Mob, however, politely stayed.

"Who are you? Why are you posing as an announcer? Is this award ceremony even real?" asked Hunter. "I want answers now or as soon as it is reasonably possible!" The sheep pulled off the rest of the costume and threw it aside.

"I'm Sandy the Sheep, I'm posing as an announcer because I wanted revenge on Spyro, and yes, Hunter, the award is real."

"Yes!" cheered Hunter. "We won an award!"

Bianca slapped him in a playful and strictly G-rated way. "Hunter! Forget about the award! There's a deranged evil sheep over there who wants to get revenge on Spyro and take over the world!"

"Who told you my plan?!" demanded Sandy.

"Um, it's written on that poster behind you." said Elora.

Sandy turned around, ripped the poster off the wall, and shredded it. "Now, back to business!" he turned around and pulled out a gun. "Say your prayers, Spyro!"

"This looks like a job for..._The Angry Mob_!" the authoress crowed, stepping in for a moment as 'Narrator'.

"Shut up so we can save the day!" Sheila scolded.

"Yes ma'am."

Sandy fired the gun, which was odd because sheep don't have opposable thumbs. Nevertheless, the basic rules of anatomy were forgotten in the heat of the moment. The Angry Mob dodged out of the way and pulled out the torches and pitchforks they had conveniently hidden behind their backs. The whistling goat trotted by.

"CHARGE!" yelled Spyro.

The Angry Mob attacked. "Fools! You can't outnumber me!" said Sandy as he pulled down the stage curtain to reveal an army consisting of hundreds of fodder. "ATTACK!" he yelled, and all the fodder obeyed him.

It was a gruesome battle. The Angry Mob had all the firepower, but the fodder had all the reflexes. The fodder could easily dodge the pitchforks and torches. So the Angry Mob had to work harder to stab and burn them all. This battle wasn't very interesting, despite what you might think, so long story short: the Angry Mob defeated almost all of the fodder, and the air was full of butterflies. "Good job guys, the dragonflies will take care of the rest." announced Spyro, as a swarm of dragonflies flew in and began eating the butterflies.

"You may have won this time, Angry Mob, but I'll be back with the author on my side!" and with that he ran off, taking the last of the fodder with him.

A few brave crickets chirped for a moment, and then the Angry Mob realized that they had defeated their first insane evil villain. The Evil Ghost Duck doesn't count, because she..._HE..._ only wanted to kidnap Hunter. He didn't even want to do that. He just wanted to be left alone, but no one spoke enough Duck to realize that.

"Let's go to Pizza Hut, my treat!" yelled Elora, and they all ran down to the nearest Pizza Hut. There, they pigged out, started a food fight, and were kicked out by the manager.

Sandy the sheep walked away from the demolished stage, fuming. "I'll show them. I'll start my own evil villain club!"

**(Will ** **Sandy**** ever start his evil villain club? Will the Angry Mob ever get let back in to Pizza Hut? Will I figure out what a cliffhanger is? Why does the goat keep whistling?! Tune in next time and find out!) **


	4. A chapter for the perplexed

**Due to complaints received by the perplexed, this chapter of 'Angry Mob' has been equipped with the Parakeet Auto-Explain Software©. This software is designed to clarify any written text that could be misunderstood. It will insert a simple, short clarification in parenthesis immediately following the word or group of words that needs clarifying.

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In a secret cave, in a secret room, there was a secret conference being held in secret. Sandy the Sheep (evil) was holding a conference with the Evil Fodder of Avalar. (EFA) Sandy took role.

"Bob the Lizard" (Minion)

"Here."

"Dan the Bunny" (Accomplice)

"Here."

"Carl the Snowball" (Lackey)

"Here."

"Floyd the Frog" (Male)

"Here."

"Well, now that everyone's here, let's get down to business. First off, we've got to destroy the Angry Mob (heroes) if we want to wreak havoc all over." said Sandy. "Now, this place is where we will always come to discuss our secret plans. This place is so secret, so hidden, so unknown, that nobody will ever find us plotting!"

Just then, a pizza delivery guy walked in. (joke) "Is this the place that ordered an extra-large pepperoni pizza?" he asked.

Bob handed him some money and took the pizza. "Thank you! Bye-bye!" he put the pizza on the table and everyone grabbed a slice except Sandy. The sheep turned an interesting shade of red and steam poured out of his ears.

"You idiot!" he raged, "We've been searching all over for a secret hideout that nobody knows about and then you have to go and order pizza so now that guy knows our secret!"

"Relax." said Carl (lackey), "We can always go back and get rid of him." Sandy groaned, thought about that for a second, and then joined in the rush for pizza. Dan leaned over to Floyd.

"Did you see how worked up he got over pizza?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I guess I can't bring my girlfriend by here after she gets off from work." replied Floyd. Dan (fixed income) stared at him in shock.

"You have a girlfriend?"

Somewhere in Avalar, a pitchfork-shaped signal shone up in the sky. Spyro looked at it, and then he ran off to the Angry Mob hideout. "Guys!" he yelled. Everyone looked up from their game of dominos. No one knew exactly where or when the Angry Mob learned to play dominoes. Some believed that they picked it up in their sleep, or as the result of a trip to a retirement home. (Rambling)

Sorry. I'll try and stay focused on the story at hand.

"Someone needs the Angry Mob! Quick, to the pitchfork-mobile!"

The Angry Mob, disguised as a mild-mannered bird watching society, realized that they had no pitchfork-mobile and climbed onto their motorcycles instead.

They sped over to Autumn Plains (in Avalar), where they found the Evil Fodder of Avalar terrorizing the land. They were vandalizing trees, throwing lit dynamite around, attacking pizza guys, and scaring little kids. They were trying to drain the pond, and they were stalking random people.

The goat walked by, whistling.

"The fiends!" said Hunter. "Attacking pizza guys like that!"

"Let's get 'em!" yelled Sheila. The Angry Mob pulled off their bird- watching disguises to reveal to everyone that they were the Angry Mob! The official Angry Mob theme song kicked in.

"Look! It's the Angry Mob!" shouted Carl (divorced). The Angry Mob advanced on the EFA, waving pitchforks and torches and chanting 'GET THEM' like they had been taught.

"Dang, I knew we overreacted when that guy said our pizza coupons had expired!" said Sandy. "Let's get outta here!" The EFA ran away. The citizens of Avalar cheered.

"Once again, the day is saved! Thanks to the Angry Mob!" cheered Elora. The Angry Mob quickly went into a nearby restroom and changed back into their mild-mannered bird-watcher's outfits (Hey, you try fitting thirty-six people in a phone booth!) and went back to their secret hideout.

"Now we are back in our secret hideout." Bianca mused. "Our little secret place that nobody, especially the EFA can find and discover our secret identity, and where we secretly discuss secret plans."

Just then a pizza delivery guy walked in and asked "This the place that ordered the seventeen extra-large pepperoni pizzas?"

Hunter paid the guy and took the pizza. "Hey, guys! To celebrate another victory, I ordered us pizza!" he said. Elora slapped him.

"Hunter! This place is supposed to be secret and you OH! Is that pepperoni?"

Everyone forgave Hunter for giving away the location of their hideout, ate pizza and simply placed the pizza guy on their hit-list.

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**Please insert some form of author's note here.**


	5. Learn by reading fanfic!

**(Due to a complaint that there isn't enough education in this story, Clem the tech guy will be inserting random educational comments between paragraphs. I'd like to use this author's note to say thank youfor your reviews! You're a beautiful audience!... except for that guy in seat twelve.)

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The pizza guys of Avalar were nervous. They had been attacked by fodder just because they had an expired coupon. They would have been in desperate need of therapy had it not been for The Angry Mob!

(E.C. stands for Educational Comment.)

Meanwhile, while the pizza guys were busy with the first paragraph, the Angry Mob (disguised as a mild-mannered bird watching club) was in New York City, having one heck of a time trying to get a taxi.

"Taxi! Taxi!" yelled Bianca as another cab sped by. She sighed. "It's no use! No one wants to pick up a large bird watching society!"

(E.C. 2 X 2 4)

"Why do we have to be disguised as a mild-mannered bird watching society?" complained Agent 9. "Why couldn't we be disguised as a mild-mannered karate class, or a gun club or something?"

"Because birdwatchers attract less attention!" snapped Spyro. "Now let's go to a bus stop, these taxis are getting on my nerves!" They were almost to the bus stop when Hunter fell on the ground and started twitching.

"Angry Mob senses...tingling...someone's in...trouble..." he said.

Elora poked him in the ribs. "You goofball! We don't have Angry Mob senses!"

(E.C. The Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4 1776.)

Hunter sat up. "Then why do I have this tingling sensation?" he asked.

"Because you just ate twenty-two chili dogs." said Sheila as she handed him some Maalox. Hunter drank some Maalox, just as a pitchfork-shaped signal appeared in the sky. A goat walked by, whistling.

(E.C. The three kinds of rocks are igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic.)

"Someone needs the Angry Mob! We must act!" Spyro said.

They found a nearby locker room and removed their bird watching disguises and hopped on their motorcycles that had suddenly appeared there and they were off to Avalar.

(E.C. A verb is a word that describes an action.)

There they found that the Evil Fodder of Avalar (EFA) had tied up all of the pizza guys and were now holding them hostage. "Now, for the last time," Sandy was saying. "We want a large pizza with extra cheese, two medium pepperoni pizzas, and five Cokes to go!"

Then Sandy noticed-

(E.C. French fries were not invented in France.)

Ahem! Then Sandy noticed the Angry Mob coming towards them on motorcycles. They waved their torches and pitchforks in a threatening manner. The EFA started to run, but the Angry Mob caught up with them and-

(E.C. In tennis, the word for zero points is 'love'.)

-ran over them.

The EFA was flat as a pancake. The pizza guys cheered and were untied. "Thank you so much Angry Mob!" they said, their happy faces just _glowing_ with joy.

"It was nothing." said Elora. The pizza guys began to sing, forcing the Angry Mob to put duct tape over their mouths. Then the Evil Ghost Duck appeared and-

(E.C. Magma is underground, lava is above ground.)

Spyro glared at Clem who was holding up his E.C. sign. "Who wants to get Clem and settle this tomorrow?" he asked. The Angry Mob, EFA, and the Evil Ghost Duck raised their hands. "CHARGE!" shouted Sandy.

"Um, guys?" said Clem, "Look, can't we talk this over? I didn't mean to interrupt! I'm sorry! I'll be good, I promise!"

And so the Angry Mob (along with the EFA and the Evil Ghost Duck) beat the snot out of Clem, trampled him with cleats, tied him up, set fire to his pants, and threw him off a cliff. "Ok, now that he's gone, where were we?" asked Spyro.

"You had just defeated us and the evil ghost duck appeared." said Sandy.

"Good, we'll start from there tomorrow." They all said goodbye and went home, leaving the pizza guys to get the duct tape off themselves.

The Next Day

"C'mon, Agent 9 hurry up!" yelled Bianca through the door of the phone booth. The Angry Mob was unable to find a nearby locker room or restroom so they had to take turns in the local phone booth. "Hold your horses! I'm coming!" Agent 9 yelled back.

He came out of the phone booth in his Angry Mob clothes. "Finally! Now, go hide in those bushes so no one will see who you really are." said Elora. (They had to keep their secret identity secret. It would look suspicious if members of the Angry Mob were seen waiting around a phone booth with members of a mild-mannered bird watching club.)

As Agent 9 went and hid in the bushes with some other already-dressed members of the Angry Mob, the videotape paused. "Aha!" said Sandy.

The EFA was busy watching the tape from their hidden camera. How they got a hidden camera, I don't know. "So, the Angry Mob is really Spyro, Hunter, Elora, Bianca, Sheila, Agent 9, Bentley, Sgt. Byrd, Gnasty Gnorc, Ripto, the Sorceress, and twenty-five random characters from all over disguised as a mild-mannered bird watching club!"

"Wow, its like, the perfect disguise!" exclaimed Carl.

"The Angry Mob disguised as a mild-mannered bird watching group, who would have guessed." said Dan.

"Well, now we can go tell the world who the Angry Mob really is, and then they'll always be swarmed by fans that they will not be able to stop us!" (Cue evil guy theme music.)

The EFA looked around. "Where is that music coming from?" asked Floyd.

The Angry Mob waited. They were in a large city, the place where they and the evil ghost duck had agreed to meet and finish their battle before they were so RUDELY interrupted by certain educational comments.

(E.C. Well excuuuuuse me!)

Shut up. Anyhoo, the Angry Mob was waiting in the middle of a large city. They were disguised as the mild-mannered birdwatching society. (The evil ghost duck said they could change when he got there.)

Suddenly, Sandy the Sheep appeared with a bullhorn and stood up on a table. "BEHOLD! I come to you with great news!" he announced. (Cue dramatic music.) Sandy looked around. "Where is that music coming from?" he asked.

All the people stopped what they were doing to listen. "I am about to reveal to you, the secret identity of the Angry Mob!" bellowed Sandy.

"The Angry Mob is really... THEM!" he yelled, pointing at the Angry Mob in disguise. Everyone looked at the Angry Mob (in disguise!) who were busy whistling innocently.

"That mild-mannered birdwatching society? You've gotta be kidding!" someone shouted. Sandy turned on his bullhorn again. "Yes! It's them! They are the ones who are the ruthless, terrorizing crime fighters!" he yelled.

Everyone looked at the Angry Mob (Still in disguise) who were looking through their binoculars at a bluebird perched on a tree three feet away. The people glared at Sandy. The sheep threw down his bullhorn in disgust. "You people are hopeless!" he said.

And with that, he went back to the EFA's secret lair. Everyone else went back to what they were doing. The evil ghost duck walked up. "Quack quack, quack quack?"

"Yeah, let's roll." said Spyro. They faced off and before the duck could do anything, the Angry Mob had put on their cleats and attempted to trample him. Unfortunately, they just went right through him.

They then pulled out a rifle and the duck got scared and flew off. (Yes, I know it's lame but I wanted to hurry up and get to the next part!) "We have triumphed over the evil ghost duck!" exclaimed Hunter. (Cue happy music.) The Angry Mob looked around. "Where's that music coming from?" asked Agent 9.

The goat walked by, whistling. Spyro sighed in disgust, and tapped on the goat's shoulder. She turned around. "Yes?" she asked.

"I've seen you walk by whistling in every one of our adventures," Spyro started, "and each time, I've been meaning to ask you this question: who are you and why are you whistling!"

* * *

**(Will the goat answer? Will the story continue to be interesting? Stay tuned and find out!) **


	6. The almost epic, semi final battle

**(And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for! I am now going to reveal who the goat is and why she's been walking by whistling! Drum roll please...if the budget permits it.)

* * *

**

They had sent Moneybags to the hospital many times, they had faced the Evil Ghost Duck on several occasions, they had even won some arguments on occasion, and they had saved pizza guys for obscure reasons. Now they were to face their greatest adventure yet. They were about to discover the identity of this goat, and the dark, mysterious meaning of her whistling.

"I've seen you walk by whistling in every one of our adventures," Spyro started, "and each time I've been meaning to ask you this question: who are you and why are you whistling!"

The goat started to answer, but before she could utter a word she was surrounded by dozens of reporters, complete with cameramen. These reporters were sent here from all the major news broadcasting corporation, and even a few minor ones. They crowded in close, recording every second for posterity. "Will you get outta here!" yelled Spyro.

The goat cleared her throat and tried again. This time, she was cut off by a mob of tourists and retired people demanding autographs and group photos. "Hey, look! Is that Elvis over there?" asked Hunter. All the amazingly gullible people ran off to see Elvis.

She tried again and was cut off by the author laughing because the story was being dragged out slowly to annoy the readers. All right, I'll get with it.

The goat started again. "My name's Skip. Skippet D. Goat. I've been wandering around here all week, trying to find someone who could give me directions." She said.

"Well that tells us who you are." Sheila said. "But why were you whistling?"

Skip rolled her eyes. "Sheesh! Do I gotta have a reason for everything? I just like to whistle!"

"Whistling is fine. You said something about needing directions?" asked Hunter.

"I got lost trying to find the rest of my herd." explained Skip, "We're all highly trained in the field of martial arts, by the way, and we were headed for a convention in Avalar when I got separated from them. Do you guys know where Mystic Marsh is?" she asked.

"Sure we know where it is. We'll gladly take you there, but first could you do us a favor?" asked Spyro. He had just begun to think of a plan. They took Skip to Mystic Marsh by using an amazing Superportal that just happened to be hanging around.

There they saw eleven other goats taking a tour of the land. Skip ran to them and they were ecstatic to see her. "Hey, goats!" said Spyro. "Could you do us a favor?"

* * *

Intermission 

Okay people, intermission time. You are now free to move about the computer. Go get a snack or whatever; the story will still be here.

For those of you who wish to stay during intermission, here's a small skit.

A duck and a chicken appear. They pull out top hats and canes and start tap dancing.

Alright, intermission's over! The duck and the chicken fall through a trap door.

Story Continues

* * *

The Evil Fodder of Avalar (EFA) was having a meeting in the Secret-EFA- Hideout-That-Nobody-Knows-About-Except-For-That-Pizza-Guy. They had just finished their plan to try and reveal the secret identity of the Angry Mob, unsuccessfully, of course, and they were busy trying to think up something new. 

"Curse that Angry Mob!" screamed Sandy. "If it wasn't for them then we'd um, err..." he trailed off. "C'mon, guys, a little help here!"

"If it weren't for them we'd be able to conquer the world and destroy the pizza guy who knows where our hideout is?" suggested Carl.

"That works." They were all silent for a moment. "Alright, next order of business. Dan, did you remember to destroy that pizza guy who knows where our hideout is?"

"Um..." said Dan.

* * *

"_I have to destroy you now. You know far too much."_

"_Wait! If you come back here every Friday, I can get you a free pizza."_

"_Don't try to bribe me."_

"_Including breadsticks and dipping sauce."_

"_Deal."

* * *

_

"Uh, yes." said Dan. Fortunately for Dan, Sandy thought he was telling the truth.

Suddenly, the secret hideout shook. The lights flickered. "Okay! Who forgot to pay the electric bill?" demanded Floyd. Then the wall crumbled to reveal about a dozen goats in full karate gear. Behind them was the Angry Mob, pitchforks drawn.

"How did you find our secret hideout?" demanded Sandy.

"Some pizza guy told us." replied Spyro.

"Dan..." growled Sandy. Dan looked away and started humming innocently.

It was a showdown. One of the goats suddenly stepped forward, performed an astonishing backflip, and kicked Bob into oblivion. The remaining members of the EFA decided that they might as well do something about this and fight back. The goats were doing wonderful. They moved as one, and gave the EFA a big owie. The Angry Mob barely had to do anything except block the EFA's escape.

"Wow, this is like an action movie!" exclaimed Spyro. "Hunter, are you getting all this?" Hunter was busy filming the whole scene. The goats made short work of the Evil Fodder of Avalar and made it look very impressive. After about seven minutes of this, the bad guys were no longer as durable as they had been and weren't very fun to beat up anymore. So the goats went with the Angry Mob to Summer Forest.

"So, you do karate?" asked Sgt. Byrd. Skip nodded.

"Yep! We've been a first- class goat karate organization for years!

"Cool." remarked Hunter. "Can you teach us?" he asked. The goats were more than happy to give the Angry Mob karate lessons. Suddenly, in a last-minute clichéd plot twist, Sandy jumped out from behind a bush. "This isn't over yet!" he shouted. "Spyro, you against me, we're gonna end this right now!"

"So! You think you can beat me in a thumb wrestling contest and overthrow us, bring back the EFA, get revenge on the pizza guy, and destroy all humanity?" said Spyro.

Sandy was outraged, indignant, and above all, miffed. "_WHO told you my plan!"_ he demanded.

"It's written on the sign that Clem is holding behind you." said Bianca. Sandy turned around and saw Clem standing there holding a sign with Sandy's secret plan written on it. Sandy grabbed the sign, beat Clem over the head with it, and threw him in a blender.

"Now about that thumb wrestling contest?" he asked. "Oh yeah." said Spyro. "I win."

"What? We haven't even started yet!"

"Sheep don't have thumbs."

Sandy paused, and looked down at his hooves. No thumbs. He invoked the wonders of the endless 'no'. In a flamboyant, dramatic way, he fell to his knees and threw his arms into the air while shouting:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgaspOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And so the EFA was defeated, the identity of the whistling goat was revealed, the Angry Mob took up karate, and all was well with the world.

* * *

**Coming soon: an epilogue and a movie preview.**


	7. Pause for a few extra things

**Epilogue for Angry Mob, part I.**

Skippet D. Goat and the rest of her goat friends began to teach the Angry Mob various forms of Martial Arts. A few of the goats even took up knitting. The goats later decided to move on to better things, and decided to go traveling.

Sandy the Sheep became severely depressed after not winning and completely failing as an evil villain. He went and enrolled himself in an anger-management class and dedicated his life to helping out other thumb-less evildoers. Sandy went and created a variety of devices to overcome missing thumbs, though it was difficult to find someone to sponsor him. Finally, he was able to earn a generous grant from the National Society of Potential Criminals so he could continue his work.

The Evil Ghost Duck founded a rehabilitation clinic for the remainder of the EFA and helped them overcome their mental issues. The clinic became very widely known and soon used lackeys from all over the world were signing themselves in. The Evil Ghost Duck then legally changed his name to Ghost Duck, and was able to stop pretending to be a male duck. Again, the cross-dressing was for political reasons that we won't go into.

Clem quit his job as the card holder and went to seek his fortune elsewhere. That didn't work out so well, and he ended up getting a job at a pizza parlor. Later, he joined the NSPC. That fact became a crucial plot point.

Moneybags, having been left on his own for so long, accidentally wandered into the Annual Redneck Taxidermy Competition. He said some things that he shouldn't have and things snowballed from there...

And finally, The Angry Mob took karate lessons from the goats for awhile and then retired. They then received a phone call from a film studio that wanted to make a movie out of their adventures. The Angry Mob agreed to this, and ended up starring in their own major motion picture. The film was a hit and managed to spawn several sequels. The Angry Mob eventually settled down to lead a quiet life until their next escapade.

* * *

**Here, just for fun, is the Angry Mob's movie trailer. **

Narrator- Somewhere in Avalar, evil is afoot.

-Cut to Moneybags trying to scam an Electroll.-

Moneybags-Yes, I guarantee you that these inflatable matches have a lifelong warranty!

Narrator- A call goes out...

(The Electroll presses the big red shiny emergency button that appears for no reason whatsoever. The pitchfork sign goes up in the air.)

Narrator- ...to the only people who can help save the day...

-Cut to a group of dark figures standing on a hilltop on motorcycles.-

Moneybags- Gasp! It's them!

(Dark figures start racing down the hill on their motorcycles towards Moneybags)

-The dark figures come into the light very quickly-

Narrator- ...the only people who can conquer all that is stupid...

-Cut to Moneybags being run over by the Angry Mob-

Narrator-...the only people known as... _The Angry Mob_!

-Cuts to blackness-

Narrator- In 2004...

-Cut to the Angry Mob practicing in the cave.-

Spyro- Pay attention now!

-Cuts to the scene with Hunter tied to a chair and Moneybags and the Evil Ghost Duck are Standing by-

Hunter- What is it? What's he gonna do?

Moneybags- I don't know! I barely speak duck!

-Cuts to blackness-

Narrator-...an unstoppable force...

-Cut to the Angry Mob in New York-

Bianca- Taxi! Taxi!

Elora- It's no use! No one wants to pick up a large birdwatching group.

Narrator- ...will take on an evil so dangerous...

-Cuts to scene where the Angry Mob is defeating the really big army –

Sandy's voice- You cannot outnumber me!

-cuts to scene with the evil ghost duck flying over the angry mob-

Angry Mob- AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Narrator-... so ruthless...

-Cuts to scene at the awards ceremony.-

Announcer- Now I shall reveal myself!

Narrator- ...so woolly...

(Sandy pulls off his mask)

Angry Mob- Gasp!

-Cuts to darkness-

Narrator-...that they must work together to defeat it.

(Action sequence, fast orchestra music plays) (cuts to the Angry Mob throwing Moneybags off the cliff in Frozen Altars) Moneybags-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Cuts to the scene where the Angry Mob tramples Moneybags) Moneybags-They're wearing CLEATS! (Cuts to scene where Spyro taps on the goat's shoulder) Spyro- Who are you and why are you whistling? (Cuts to scene where the EFA is plotting in their secret hideout) Pizza guy- Is this the place that ordered an extra-large pepperoni pizza? (Cuts to the final battle scene) (Goats do their karate moves) Goats- Hi_YAH!_

-Cuts to darkness-

Narrator- (as words appear on screen) Angry Mob: the movie

Spyro- Quick! To the pitchfork mobile!

Words appear on screen- Coming Soon

* * *

  



End file.
